Tear Stains On Your Picture
by LiKe a dRuG
Summary: I can't lie to you. But I can't hurt you. So which do I choose? Kaoru couldn't see it coming when it happened. And now he's held in a delima. [Twincest][HikaHaru][third wheel][yaoi][R&R please!] Rated for later chapters
1. Kaoru's Delima

**Title  
**Tears On Your Picture**  
Contents**  
Ouran High School Host Club  
**Pairings**  
Hikaru/Kaoru  
**POV**  
Kaoru  
**Beta**  
None**  
Summary  
**Kaoru couldn't see it coming when it happened. And now he's held in a delima.  
**Disclaimer**  
I do not own Ouran High School Host Club or any of the characters mentioned. Trust me if I did, they wouldn't be hosting. They'd be doing naughty things in a closet.  
**Warning  
**Twincest implied. Third wheel. You have been warned  
**Enjoy**  
--

I can't lie to you. But I can't hurt you. So which do I choose?

Your asking me on Haruhi and how she is as you stare off into the distance. Do I think she likes you? No. I don't. She's not one for men, Hikaru, and if you could only see that we wouldn't have this one sided conversation with only one party presently in the right mind. We're not even at school, why are you day dreaming of her now? This is suppose to be dinner. The only time I get you to yourself these days. From the moment she leaves the house you call her. From the moment you start your phone call until dinner do you talk to her.

"Kaoru?"

So you have noticed I stopped answering you. Or are you about to ask another question about her again?

"Kaoru.. Do you think Haruhi will run away with me?"

How'd I know? Lucky guess, I guess. Either way I wasn't about to answer anymore Haruhi questions. Open your eyes, I'm not interested in her.

"Kaoru?"

Oh so now you take the measure to notice me. I've seen it in you before Hikaru. Your lovesick. The way you look at her, you glow. However, she does not. I can see you, your radiant when she talks to you, she is not. You handel her with care, talk sweet to her, everything changes when your around her. Your happier, your nicer, you brush the hair out from your eyes, and that smile.. That smile you give her. You glow Hikaru, you glow more then fireflies in an open meadow in the darkest of the night. I'm sorry to think this way brother, but she's dimmer than a teacup candle in a cabin whilst trying to write in the midnight. I thought it was obvious.. But I won't spoil your fantasy. I can't hurt you. So for now, I will lie.

"Hm? Yes Hikaru."

Are you just now coming back to reality? You haven't touched your plate yet. I made your favorite, although I know it's not from the can like you like it. But there are still meatballs in it, I made it from scratch, the cook taught me how. I learned, because you like it.

"Please excuse me. I'm going out for a while."

With that you left me, sitting at the dinner table, alone. My head was bowed, trying to hide those lonely eyes of my. I couldn't watch you walk out that door again tonight. I've watched you do it to many times before, and each time you take a bit of me with you. It hurts Hikaru. It hurts to sit at this empty table, alone, without you across from me. I can't finish my plate without you here. So I'll empty it out again tonight. You might be hungry when you come back, so I'll put yours in the microwave for when you come home. I'll even preset the microwave so all you have to do is press start. I'll climb the stairs, up to your room. Stopping myself at your door, wondering if it's such a good idea to crawl into your bed tonight. The chances of you bringing her home is slim, I know she won't comehome with you. I know she doesn't have eyes for you. I'll open your door, to figure that you might want to see someone who can lend a crying shoulder.

Walking in I notice you've been scanning through the photoalbum. I'll sit on your bed, and look through it. You've been adding pictures of her in here, and made it blunt as cornersof pictures of me were covered with pictures of her. I'm not even on this page as I flip through it. I can't stand looking at this anymore, so I'll flip to the begining, before her. Look at us, we're so close. We were so happy then. We weren't lonely, I had you and you know you had me. Tear drops stain the page where we performed our taboo act. I miss you Hikaru. It hurts to sit here, on your bed, alone. It's cold, the bed is to big, any excuse to make it a reason why I need you here. Even if I miss you, won't it be bittersweet to watch you walk inside with the same tears of loneliness and rejection in your eyes. Running my hand over our picture, remembering when we tied the red string. Those were the days. I'll put the album away and lay down, stripping down to nothing but boxers and a loose t-shirt I found on the floor next to your bed. I'll fall asleep, only to wake when you arrive.

I couldn't believe it when you walked in. Maybe I shouldn't have come inside afterall. But, we sleep together, in this bed, every night. Didn't you remember that Hikaru? I should have seen it coming, in away I did, I shouldn't have rejected it so coldly. Maybe I didn't see it in her, when it was there. She was clung around your neck as you smiled so deviously at me.

"Kaoru? Out."

As if I were a dog, I obeied on command, grabbing the album. I tossed her a glare as I left your room. My room was next to yours, and as I walked in I could hear you. I could hear her. Both of your voices mingled their way through my wall. I flipped the page in our album back to the taboo page. I couldn't believe it was only a picture, I refuse to believe it's just a hug, it's just a look, it's just sweet words. I can't look away from our picture. I refuse to believe that's your voice in there, calling out her name. She sounds pained, how willing was she? What are you doing to her? What are you doing to... Me?

It's been quiet for some hours now. You walked in my room not to long ago, zipping up your fly, smiling with delight.

"I beat you."

Was what you said to me on arrival. My head was still hanging low, stareing through the puddle on the picture. You walked over, and wiped the tears from my eyes. For me, your hand's cresting left my face to soon for my likeing. I took the courage to look at you, but it hurt.

"Kaoru? Something wrong?"

I caught myself in a dilema. I can't lie to you. But I can't hurt you. So which do I choose?

--------

**Review for next chapter ideas.**

Rated for later chapters


	2. That Smile

**Title  
**Tear Stains On Your Picture**  
Contents**  
Ouran High School Host Club  
**Pairings**  
Hikaru/Kaoru  
**POV**  
Kaoru  
**Beta**  
None**  
Summary  
**Kaoru couldn't see it coming when it happened. And now he's held in a delima.  
**Disclaimer**  
I do not own Ouran High School Host Club or any of the characters mentioned. Trust me if I did, they wouldn't be hosting. They'd be doing naughty things in a closet.  
**Warning  
**Twincest implied. Third wheel. You have been warned  
**Enjoy**  
-- 

"I beat you."

Was what you said to me on arrival. My head was still hanging low, stareing through the puddle on the picture. You walked over, and wiped the tears from my eyes. For me, your hand's cresting left my face to soon for my likeing. I took the courage to look at you, but it hurt.

"Kaoru? Something wrong?"

I caught myself in a dilema. I can't lie to you. But I can't hurt you. So which do I choose?

As if the tears were never there, I smiled your way, and put on a pair of pants.

"No Hikaru."

With that I left you, with your dumbfounded expression, takeing the taboo picture from the album and pocketing it. Couldn't you see I was hurt? What did you do, get her drunk? I wouldn't have to be drunk for you Hikaru. No, I would have taken you as I am. But this was just my jealousy coming into play yet again, I doubt she's drunk. Whatever she is, I know she left. You wouldn't leave her precious side while she was here, you proably drove her home, didn't you brother? Either way she's not in the house right now, your in my room, I'm leaving.

No I will not stay gone, but will you notice my abscents? My shoes are on, and you haven't come downstairs to stop me from leaving yet. My sweater is in the wash, so I'll borrow yours instead. I opened the door, could you hear the tumblers unlock? They mock me, everytime you leave they get louder than my heart's beat. It's sickening me, leaving as you do everynight. Either way I've left the house, my feet hit the ground as soon as they could. I was running from you now brother, running from your stance. The way you looked at me, after you finished with her. You looked so satisfied, so relifed, so... loved.

What am I talking about? Isn't that how one should look after that act? I've always wondered how you would look after such events. I wonder if you sweat, I wonder if you took her from the top. How often did you kiss her? I could tell she was in pain, afterall it was her first time right? Did you help take her focus off the pain at her lower? Did you-No, I shouldn't be thinking about you like this Hikaru. It's just... Just... Just wrong! This feeling, these questions, these thoughts, these _images_, it's all so sick and wrong! Oh brother you would not approve of my next thought of you. So I will stop this now. I will stop thinking of this now. Where did I leave that picture? Oh yes, in my pants pocket. I'll just look at it once more.. Maybe this will take my mind off of the sick thoughts.

Oh how wrong I was. And I felt sicker right now than I did five minutes ago. I had to find a isolated place right now. The heat riseing was unbearable to stand. I was near the school, I could always run inside and lock myself in a closet? No, no Tamaki has every key to every door there. The school was not an option. I have to be alone right now. I'll put the picture back in my pocket and run to the nearest alley way. I looked around in it, it was way from society. So dark, so wet, so... Isolated. Yes, this will be perfect. It was obvious what I came here to do. No, not to cry for you brother. But something sicker than all the images in my mind. I felt myself slipping against the wall, your sweater smelt like you do. Whatever you wear, I never want it to fade. I couldn't believe my acts in this alley way, hushing your name as I did.

"Mmm Hika_ru_."

It was sickening. I couldn't get these images, these mini videos, out from my head. This is when I began bucking into my hand, and it wasn't soon after this motion did I hear footsteps. In shock and fear I think I arrived early. I had been greatful it was my hand and not my pants. Well whoever it was would see me with myself in hand. 

"Who-Who's there?"

As if I'd get any answers.

"My-My name is Hitachiin Kaoru. State yourself."

Still, no respond. It was around this time did I get one. Not verbal, no, not yet. Instead a body of a senior had flung themself on me. There was another pair of footsteps, how many were there out there? So far all I could recconize was two. Lighting struck nearby, I could see the two faces grinning down at me. It hurt Hikaru. That first hit, it was to my temple. They smiled like you had, I hate that look. They looked so satisfied, so pleased with themselves as they looked down at my bruised and half-blind self. For the least I knew, they have only begun.

"Hitachiin Kaoru huh? One of the rich bastards?"

A kick to my ribcage was my reward for nodding my head. I yelped and coughed. They stole my wallet, they stole my shoes, they even stole... Your sweater.

I thought you wouldn't notice if I came home tonight, and I definatly wouldn't have guessed you'd be waiting for me when I arrived home. If only you knew the night I had... Your stomach would turn brother, and you wouldn't be embraceing me with one arm while you held your phone in the other, talking to her. I'm sorry I flew off the handel, I was in no mood for her at that moment. Sorry I slapped the phone from your hands, and watched it smash on the floor. I didn't mean to glare, I should have shed those tears in your chest like I would normally. Instead I told you, I told you I couldn't stand you, and I ran to my room locking teh door behind me. My chest hurt, how could I be so mean to you? 

You came to my room, early that morning. What time was it? Two? Three in the morning? It was still dark and raining now. Your knocking, why did you have to be so gental about it? I needed the two minutes it took to clean myself of all tears and hiding the taboo picture. I unlocked the door and saw you standing there, with a box of chocolates. I think you dropped that box when I flung myself into your arms. You held me so gentally, I couldn't even feel the bruises as you picked me up and brought me to my own bed. You let me cry into your chest, even after all I've said. You were the one to wrap me in bandages, you were the one to kiss your fingers and touch the cuts, you were the one who told me everything would be alright. It seemed perfect, I knew you cared for me. But everything was lost when you gave me that smile. Your satisified, self-pleased smile.

"Where else does it hurt?"

Where else? Isn't it obvious! My chest hurts, and all because you gave me that same smile. The same smile you gave me after her. The same smile they had given me when they did what they did.

"I hate you!"

I lost it again. My head buried itself in your chest as I hit your chest with my right hand. Why did you let me do this? I was hitting pretty hard. Although I couldn't mean it when I said I hated you. Did you know this? Do you know I can't hate you?

"Kaoru..."

You caught my fist. You guided the angered ball to my side and brushed the ahir from my face as you held me close. Oh god, don't you realize your making it worse?

"Kaoru, hush... Niisan's here."

don't call yourself niisan. Please Hikaru, that just makes it sicker for me.

"... But tell me, why did you leave?" 

Dammit Hikaru! Why! Why do you always do this to me! If I tell you, I will hurt you. I can't lie to you. But I can't hurt you. So which do I choose? 

--------

**:3 Thanks to BokuraNoLoveStyle for a suggestion with chapter ideas. I took the advice and flew with it, what'd ya think?**

Also, memo to a friend of mine: I still think it would have been better if Tamaki had been there XD but than the story wouldn't be under teh category "angsty"

**OH and to two other friends: Yes yes, I promised smex, but shush it will come later!**

**I told ya it was rated for later chapters.**


	3. Church's Hardball

**Title  
**Tear Stains On Your Picture**  
Contents**  
Ouran High School Host Club  
**Pairings**  
Hikaru/Kaoru  
**POV**  
Kaoru  
**Beta**  
None**  
Summary  
**Kaoru couldn't see it coming when it happened. And now he's held in a delima.  
**Disclaimer**  
I do not own Ouran High School Host Club or any of the characters mentioned. Trust me if I did, they wouldn't be hosting. They'd be doing naughty things in a closet.   
**Warning  
**Twincest implied. Third wheel. You have been warned  
**Enjoy**  
--

"... But tell me, why did you leave?" 

Dammit Hikaru! Why! Why do you always do this to me! If I tell you, I will hurt you. I can't lie to you. But I can't hurt you. So which do I choose?

"I'm... I'm just sick is all."

Yea, I'm real sick Hikaru. It's sick how you make me feel. It's sick how jealous I am. Wait, did I just say jealous? I'm NOT jealous! Hell! I bet she's just takeing what she can get! If anything I should feel pity for her!

"Okay Kaoru..."

Oh, why do you have to give me that tone? That tone of uncertainty. Fine Hikaru. Give me that tone, just don't leave. Don't get up, don't walk to the door. Please! Hikaru! I need you tonight!

"I'll see you in the morning Kaoru. Hopefully you'll feel fine enough for church."

Church? Since when did we go to church? Oh that's right.. I forgot she went. Well I'm not going!

"I hope so too."

I really need to stop lieing to you. It's going to bury me one day. Hikaru we don't even believe in god! Whatever, I'll sleep in or fake being sick.

So here we are, Sunday morning, sitting in church. Why are we here? She's not even here, why did you bring me here? Oh wait, speak of the devil, there she is. Up in front, reading a segment. What's she talking about?

"Even the most gentle and sensitive man among you will have no compassion on his own brother. Deuteronomy 28:53"

What is she talking about Hikaru? Your the most gentle and sensitive guy I know. You've got love for me, haven't you? Maybe you don't. Look at you, your eyes are glued onto her. I don't think your even interested in this. God, these seats are uncomfortable. How do people sit in these? Oh my, I must be getting tired. I think I yawned louder than intended. Not that I intended to yawn or anything.. Well, I guess your shoulder can substitute as my pillow for now. I'ma fall asleep. This bores me.

"Kao**ru**.."

Oi vey you sound not pleased. Fine, I won't use your arm as a pillow. Instead, I'll fall asleep sitting up with my arms folded.

"Kaoru don't fall asleep."

"I'm not... I'm just resting my eyes. Haruhi's got the voice to make an angel sleep."

And I ment that in the rudest way. But by the look on your face, you took it as a compliment.

"Yea... Doesn't she have the sweetest voice?"

No Hikaru. No she doesn't. It's monotone and boreing.

"Yea."

I'ma sleep now whether you approve of it or not.

How long was I out? You look very anger at me Hikaru..

"Gomenasai Hikaru..."

"Kaoru, what in the world were you dreaming about?"

"Oh, uh, I didn't have a dream..."

"Your a liar cause you were talking in your sleep. Must have been a good one too."

Why did you have to add salt to the wound? I know I'm flying a hardball. You don't have to stare!

"No... I just think that's morning wood..."

"That might be it.. Was I in it?"

Yes.

"No."

"Really? ... Must be another Hikaru you were moaning about."

How could you just shruge it off like that? Oh god do I feel sick now. And we were in church nonetheless! Whilst Haruhi read! I really am sick. I need to get away, somehow. I just NEED to get away from you Hikaru, or I just know it'll get worse. You don't need to be put into this world where your brother is jealous he isn't your lover. Did I say lover? I-I ment, oh who am I kidding?! I LOVE you Hikaru! It's gross! I know! Why couldn't I have turned out like you? Your so perfect. You have a healthy relationship. You have all the love in the world.. What do I got? I don't even think I'm loved..

"Is it okay if I drop you off at the house? Haruhi asked me if I wanted to go to her house after for a cook out.. I figured you wouldn't want to come, I mean since you fell asleep in church and all.."

"Oh it's okay. I'd proably get you or Haruhi sick anyways. I think that's why I fell asleep."

So here I am, mocking that very religon in my bedroom as I wait for you. Does a cook out honestly take 12 hours?

"This little light of mine, I'm gunna let it shine."

Oh how gritty my voice is. Good thing I don't believe in heaven or hell, or else I'd be screwed. And since when did you? I guess this is just a phase your going through.. Maybe it's just going to pass over and we'll have a good laugh on it.

"Hide it under a bush-Ooh no! I'm gunna let it shine."

Until that day, I'll sit in bed mocking christian songs until you come home.

--------

**I've got things planned for Hikaru and Kaoru, so here's your warning now. If your anti-christ. KEEP READING XD honestly though, this story does have some christian tones, but mostly making fun of it. Why? Because I am non-christian. Don't kill me if you are pro-christ. This is why I am warning you now, This fiction will make fun of it. **

**But as everything it will be in good humor. Cause I love making Kaoru sarcastic and catty. **

**Either way Lemon will be provided, in ending chapters. MIGHT get one half-way through. I'm debaiting on this. But Fluff makes my stomach twist, so if there is Fluff.. It's going to be very little.**

**If you haven't noticed, I've been keeping a promise I made when I first started this. As long as I get ****ONE**** reveiw or ****ONE**** add alert I'll start on the next chapter. YOUR REVEIW COUNTS. The more reveiws the better the next chapter **

**Also I'm going to start doing what I call 'Appreciation shout outs' In the writter's comments. If your the FIRST to comment on the chapter, your FanFic account name will appear here!**


	4. Concert Shopping

**Title  
**Tear Stains On Your Picture**  
Contents**  
Ouran High School Host Club  
**Pairings**  
Hikaru/Kaoru  
**POV**  
Kaoru  
**Beta**  
None**  
Summary  
**Kaoru couldn't see it coming when it happened. And now he's held in a delima.  
**Disclaimer**  
I do not own Ouran High School Host Club or any of the characters mentioned. Trust me if I did, they wouldn't be hosting. They'd be doing naughty things in a closet.   
**Warning  
**Twincest implied. Third wheel. You have been warned  
**Enjoy**  
--

"This little light of mine, I'm gunna let it shine."

Oh how gritty my voice is. Good thing I don't believe in heaven or hell, or else I'd be screwed. And since when did you? I guess this is just a phase your going through.. Maybe it's just going to pass over and we'll have a good laugh on it.

"Hide it under a bush-Ooh no! I'm gunna let it shine."

Until that day, I'll sit in bed mocking christian songs until you come home.

That was one of the worse nights I've seen in a long time. Sitting up in a sleepy haze I look around to find your not here. How long IS that damn cook out? God almighty! (pun.. HAHA I'M FUNNY shot ) A maid came into my room, and looked at me weirdly.

"Wha?" 

Maybe I said that to bitterly.

"Nothing Master Kaoru... I was just exopecting Master Hikaru to be here with you. That's fine though, I'll make a stop by his room. Breakfest if ready for you if your hungry."

"Arigato.."

I got up and got dressed for school today. Looking into the mirror I noticed I look like someone hit me with a brick. Our customers will ask me why I look like I'm going nockturnal, and of course you'll be to busy stareing at dearly beloved to notice. But I guess I can handel it, if it means you get a chance to be happy. But damn, do my eyes look beat. To tell the truth, I am tired a bit myself. But that's only because I stayed awake waiting for you until the sun started to come up. That was when I decided to go to sleep. I should have checked the time, maybe it wasn't worth the little sleep I did get. I wish I was narcolyptic. Then I'd get all the sleep in the world, and not have to worry about you or wish you were here with me. You proably wouldn't be at my bedside either. But then again, I didn't expect you to be waiting for me when I came home.. But it shouldn't matter! You were talking to her until I walked through that door! I had to smack the phone from your hand!

Host Club Is Now Open 

"What. Are you all. WEARING? It's as if you all called each other up and asked what to wear today!"

That's what I thought, and that's what I said, and I'm sticking to it. And who'd have think that she would be the one to stumble up to me with an excited smile on her face, as if to tell me some exciteing news. You caught her before she fell, face planting my shoes. She got up and giggled, clinging around your neck.

"Kaoru, wanna come to End Of The Silence with us this weekend?"

You sound like it's a good band.

"Flyleaf and Barlow Girl are guest playing there!"

She sounds like their good bands too.

"Well... I don't know any of their songs... I'll have to go home tonight and download their songs from itunes.."

"C'mon Kao-chan!"

She beggs like she's desprate.

"Oto!"

You beg like your desprate... Which is scarier knowing my part in this scene.

"Fine..."

I cave to easily sometimes. I can't say no to you Brother. Even if it ment here I sat as you held Haruhi in your lap, in front of customers even. This is begining to make me sick to my stomach. It's funny, our customers used to be big on the two of us getting together and 'copping a feeling' as they would put it. Now a days, they look at you and they look at her (who they still think is a he), and it's like we faded away. Sure, you'll still sit next to me, but she will sit on you. As long as your happy I guess... It's funny, you've moved from one yaoi act to another. Technically this isn't yaoi, and it's not an act either. Through out Host Club, ladies asked you questions you failed to answer, so I saved your ass.

"Oh no, Hika-chan has not kissed someone before."

I think I lied for you. But that's fine, like you noticed my lie. Host Club ended way to late for me, although it ended at normal time. I waited for you, but you waited for her, so I left without you. I'm not going to wait around for her. I'll let you have teh limo today, I'll walk home. And that's what I did. It took me some time, and I tripped over a lose side walk block, but it did give me some time to think. Time to think about that concert. Where have I heard that band before? Flyleaf. Aren't they.. Christian rock? Dammit! What did I agree to go to! With the band shirts you were wearing today, it looked like some heavey metal concert! When you come home, IF you come home tonight, I'll have to ask you what kind of concert I willed to see with you. For now I'll walk up to my room and download some songs from itunes. The download didn't take long with our T3 connection. Wow, these guys are good. I can see where they put the whole 'god' term into play, but to be honest, not once do they mention his name. Maybe he's not that almighty afterall.

"And Kaoru should be god!"

Opps, did I say that out loud? Yea I think I did. Aw well, you and non-virgin mary aren't around. So it doesn't make any difference to me if I say it or not. How long have I had their Album playing? A few hours now? Well the maid came in to tell me dinner was ready. I guess I should go downstairs. If anything Mom and Dad will want to see me at the table. I walk down the stairs to find she's not at the table. For once, I was shocked to see that you weren't with her, talking to her, or talking about her. Instead, you were talking about the concert, telling Mom and Dad all about it.

"Kaoru! What took you so long! I was just telling Ma how long the concert would be. Any luck finding your songs?"

I nod, and sit in my seat. It's cold, but what should I expect? A toasty warm cushion? Yea. Right. Actually, if I wanted one, all I have to do is tell a maid. Dinner was nice. You didn't say anything about her, you were too excited about the concert. You evem offered to go to the mall later and get some concert clothes with me, alone, without her. These offers didn't come often now a days, so I took it. Dinner was over to soon for my taste. And now here I am, getting ready for our mall date-er, shopping. Yes, we are only going shopping together. This is not a date, not even close. Although... It is just the two of us, going out, spending time together, and goffing off like we used to.

"Yo Kaoru! You coming or do you have to run to the mall!"

"Coming!"

I think I spranged my ankle sprinting down the stairs trying to catch up to you, and still I hit my face on the door you closed. You opened it though, and laughed at me. But I would have laughed at me, other's pain is funny.

"Gomenasai Kaoru, I shouldn't be laughing."

"Oh can your christ bullshit Hikaru, and laugh your ass off!"

We arrived at the mall later, and right away we began to have our old fun. First stop was not needed since we just ate, Mc'Donalds. I forgot how you put your fries in my Sunday.

"You ate my cherry you bastard!"

That snicker of yours was cute. After we ate, we went to serveral clothing stores and got what you considered concert clothes. I don't think I've ever worn anything like these before. But, I guess that's why I'm tagging along. We visited the pet shop, best buy, spencers, hot topic, zummies, discovery, and we even took pictures in that couple's picture booth thing. It was one of the best days I've had in a while now. I don't rememeber one minute where I didn't smile. And then it came time to leave. We got in the limo and showed each other what we got, although we both saw everything the other purchased. I held the strip of pictures in my hand, and smiled gently. You went through my bag and took out the anke necklace I had gotten, and leaned forward to put it around my neck. I gave you space and wished you would just lean forward a bit more. We were inches, lips to lips. If I leaned forward, you would have been my first kiss. If you would only lean in a bit more, you'd grant my wildest fantasies. I prayed the driver would hit a pot hole. But he didn't. I didn't lean forward, and neither did you. We returned to our seats and you told me how you loved my necklace on me, how good it looked around my neck. Tears fell from my eyes onto the picture strip. I don't think you noticed until we got home. I cleared them and wiped the tears from the picture. You walked me to my room, and just as I was going to walk inside you stopped me.

"I had fun with you tonight."

"Yea... I did too.." 

"I can't wait til concert time."

"Me either. Well, I'll see you in the morning. Goodnight."

"Kaoru?"

"Yes, Hikaru?"

You caught me by suprise with that embrace. And I couldn't welcome it, no matter how hard I wanted to. But you just kept holding onto me, no matter how much I pushed away, no matter how much I hit you. Why?

"Why did you cry?"

I can't lie to you. But I can't hurt you either. And you always seem to put me in this position.

--------

**Special shout out to: **

**elliee xl lx elliee**

**For being the first to reveiw Chapter ****3 **♥ **(Also she faved and alerted the story which makes me mucho happi!) Arigato! **

**If you haven't noticed, I've been keeping a promise I made when I first started this. As long as I get ****ONE**** reveiw or ****ONE**** add alert I'll start on the next chapter. YOUR REVEIW COUNTS. The more reveiws the better the next chapter **

**Also GRANDE SUKI for BokuraNoLoveStyle! For offering drawings! **

**Interesting fun: I think I found a song for this fiction. Called "Pieces" by Red. It's on youtube, and limewire. I have the file if you want it. Email me at titled "Pieces" if interested. I also have all their songs on the album "End Of Silence" (got it offa limewire) so bug me if you want any of them.**


	5. The Pill

**Title  
**Tear Stains On Your Picture**  
Contents**  
Ouran High School Host Club  
**Pairings**  
Hikaru/Kaoru  
**POV**  
Kaoru  
**Beta**  
None**  
Summary  
**Kaoru couldn't see it coming when it happened. And now he's held in a delima.  
**Disclaimer**  
I do not own Ouran High School Host Club or any of the characters mentioned. Trust me if I did, they wouldn't be hosting. They'd be doing naughty things in a closet.  
**Warning  
**Twincest implied. Third wheel. You have been warned  
**Enjoy**  
--

You caught me by suprise with that embrace. And I couldn't welcome it, no matter how hard I wanted to. But you just kept holding onto me, no matter how much I pushed away, no matter how much I hit you. Why?

"Why did you cry?"

I can't lie to you. But I can't hurt you either. And you always seem to put me in this position.

I couldn't reply to you this time. Everytime I lie, it takes a piece of me with it. So I pushed you off me and slammed the door in your face. Slideing down the red stained wooden door I once called 'ours', I couldn't hold those tears back anymore. I took the picture strip from my pocket, and scrolled my eyes down to that one picture. The second to last. The once, where your lips barely touched my cheek and I tried to play off a goofy smile behind the obvious blush. I guess I couldn't give an explaination for that, and used the 'you got me by suprise' excuse. I don't think you bought it, but you let it be rolling your eyes and smiling at me.

_"C'mon. I'll treat you to an ice drink."_

Your voice still rings in my head, taunting me. I wonder, are you still outsit my door? Yes. I dubbed it MINE. It's not ours anymore brother, and I don't think it'll be ours ever again. If slamming the door in your face was not enough for you to get the point of leaving me alone, then I'll lock the door making sure the tubblers are loud enough for you to hear. I still don't hear your footsteps leaving the door. Instead, a faint creaking from the wall is heard from you leaning against it.. Hikaru. How can I ever be so... So crule to you? It's making me sick. The whole lot of me is sick! My feelings! How I treat you! How jelous I am just when you find someone to make you as happy as you make me! My stomach is twisting into a knot as I feel the illusion of bile rising in the back of my throat. I wish I would puke. The thought of myself, makes me puke now a days. So much has changed, and it's only been a few days... But nothing will change, no matter how much I hurt inside. I can't tell you, your too happy at this point. But you should have picked up messages by now. You should have seen, that behond my blush was a heart thumping high in my throat to the very though your lips would touch my skin. Maybe I shouldn't put on such a big deal about it. I mean, it's not like it hasn't happened before. And yes, it did take me by suprise. I just don't know what to do with myself these days.

"Kaoru..."

I can faintly hear you whisper my name. Are you... Are you... Crying? Hikaru, are you crying? All because of me? Damn. Do I feel like shit right about now. I should just open the door, and tell you why I'm being so strange lately. But I know I won't. I'll be stubborn, sit against the door for what will seem like hours, and listen to you cry for me. No! No, I can't be that predictable! You're out there crying, and here I am sitting against the door with your tear stained picture in my hand while I listen to my name be strained from your throat in gasps and sobs. I bolted up and rushed to the connected bathroom. I rummaged through the cabnit behind the mirror,

"There must be something in here! Something to make all this pain, all this taunt go away!"

And that's when it started. I grabbed the tylonal, and spread ten of them in my hand. They looked so big to me, I couldn't swallow all at once with their size liek this. Swallowing my pride, I snapped each in half against my right index finger. After I snapped the tenth I looked at the poor abused finger, the joint all red and a slight microscopic cut. I filled a cup that I used for gargling with water and downed all of the snapped half pills. I tossed the cup in the sink and walked out to my bed, collapsing on it. Everything slowed down. Nothing major, like a crack addict would see, but I seemed to space out. My mouth hang open, saliva gathering at the back of my throat. I don't think I even blinked the whole night. Nothing was going through my head at that time, I wasn't thinking about anything. I felt a sense of calmness. I spread my limps out as if to make a snow angel, and kicked my shoes off. I could feel the pulse in my wrists, going up to my inner elbow. It was weird, but the more I thought about it, the faster it got until I could feel it up in my neck. My chest beat louder and screamed at me to stop thinking. And I think that's when I blacked out. Right after I heard you knock on the door. You'll have to fill me in on what happened after that.

-

"Kaoru? Are you awake?"

"Yea... Just, stomach ache is all..."

"Kaoru!"

You held onto me tightly, tears streamed down your face. Why are you crying? I'm still alive. I just got a stomach ache is all.

"Kaoru, don't EVER do that shit again to me! Don't you ever take them again!"

Oh fuck. Did I tell you I took them? Oh am I in trouble.

"Hikaru, it wasn't anything... I'm fine."

"Kaoru! You were out for 15 hours! We missed school today! It's 5 in the afternoon! I've been waiting by your bedside since you passed out!"

Was it really 15 hours or is he lieing to scare me? Holy shit! The clock DOES say five! I missed a whole day already. Wait, I don't remember a clock there. Where am I?

"Mom and Dad have called the hospital, and they pumped the pills out of your stomach. Kaoru... Why? Why did you have to take them? You know the regular amount!"

"Itai Hikaru, your voice.. I don't know why I did it, just leave me alone."

The ride home was silent, with me refuseing to talk to you at all. I shouldn't be so cold. You were the one who waited by my bedside until I woke up. You were the one who wouldn't leave even though I slammed the door in your face. I'm stupid Hikaru. I'm so stupid for being cold to you when all I want is to feel that hot blush on my cheeks like you used to make me feel. I was about to give in, and talk to you to tell you why I'm being so cold.. But than I saw her sitting on the stairs to our house, waiting for you to come home.

"Hikaru!"

She called out waveing. I gritted my teeth as you walked out to catch her in an embrace. How you told her about why you weren't at school, about how I screwed up. That was what made me snap. Why did you have to tell her I screwed up? So in her eyes I'm that one step lower? Thanks Hikaru. Thanks for doing that. I ran off after that. Once my feet were out of the limo, I ran. I could hear you calling my name,

"Kaoru!"

But even that won't stop me now. I do admit, it's slowing me down. But I have everything I need on me right now. My credit card, my school ID, shoes, clothes on my back, and the picture strip. I ran so fast you couldn't catch up. Or at least I though you couldn't. I ran across the highway, you followed me. I jumped over fences, you followed me. I stopped at the gorge, only because you jumped on top of me, pinning my wrists down.

"What do you think you're doing?!"

"Running away! I don't want to go home again!"

"Is that what you truely want...?"

Why do you sound so sad?

"Yes!"

"Why?"

It's now or never. I should proably stop lieing to you now..

"I want you to be happy with the love in your life! And I can't be around to see that! I can't watch you hug her or hear you say her name one more time Hikaru... It's... It's.."

-

"Kaoru are you awake?"

"Wha...?"

"C'mon we're gunna be late for school!" 

Banging on the door? ... Was it all... Just a dream?

"Oh Jesus fucking christ!!"

"Kaoru! Watch your tongue when you speak of the lord!"

"Oh shutup you pro-christ bastard!"

I was not happy. Not happy at all.

--------

**Special shout out to: **

**Wickedlady 101**

**For being the first to reveiw Chapter ****4! Arigato! (lol yes i think we all wanted the driver to hit a pot hole)**

**If you haven't noticed, I've been keeping a promise I made when I first started this. As long as I get ****ONE**** reveiw or ****ONE**** add alert I'll start on the next chapter. YOUR REVEIW COUNTS. The more reveiws the better the next chapter **

**Yes i was getting tired of the HikaHaru in the story and needed some Hikaoru in it :) anyways, i wanna get to the concert soon so next chapter I might skip ahead to it. But i dunno, gimme feed back on whether you want me to continue at this or skip to the concert. **


	6. The Letter

**Title  
**Tear Stains On Your Picture**  
Contents**  
Ouran High School Host Club  
**Pairings**  
Hikaru/Kaoru  
**POV**  
Kaoru  
**Beta**  
None**  
Summary  
**Kaoru couldn't see it coming when it happened. And now he's held in a delima.  
**Disclaimer**  
I do not own Ouran High School Host Club or any of the characters mentioned. Trust me if I did, they wouldn't be hosting. They'd be doing naughty things in a closet.  
**Warning  
**Twincest implied. Third wheel. You have been warned  
**Enjoy**  
-- 

Banging on the door? ... Was it all... Just a dream?

"Oh Jesus fucking christ!!"

"Kaoru! Watch your tongue when you speak of the lord!"

"Oh shutup you pro-christ bastard!"

I was not happy. Not happy at all. I slammed the door open and walked out to the kitchen, dieing of hunger.

And then came the day of the concert. The day you've-scratch that, WE've been waiting for all week. This is where I will tell you how I feel. During 'Pieces', my favorite song by Red. I really can't wait. I've seen videos of them posted online, and they seem to do alot of fireworks and what not. I sang 'Break Me Down' gently under my breath As I slipped on my sweater.

"I want to fight, I want to shine, I want to rise, Break Me Down."

And that's when you came in, all dressed in your concert attire. This was a side of Hikaru I did not see before... But I liked it. And to show you I liked it, I gave you a rather devious smile. But I don't think you saw as you leaned against my shoulder, doing your little air-guitar skit. What a dork.

"I'm trying to find! Replace the fear inside! Take this nothingness from me!"

I laughed a bit at you. Yes, you may be a dork. But you're my dork. Or, at least in my eyes you are. Your phone just HAD to ruin our moment. Aw well, that gives me the time to write out a note to you for later. I can hear her on the other end, does she have to be so loud? 'Hikaru I can't wait to spend time with you tonight' 'Hikaru I miss you' 'Hikaru it's been a day and I can't stop thinking about you' God how I wish I was able to yell for her to cram it up her virgin hole. Yea, virgin, HA funny... Well I'll wait for you in the car, if you're not riding with her. It took a while, but you finally came down and got in the car.

"So are you ready?"

"Yea.."

"You don't sound so enthusiastic as before."

"Gomenasai.."

To tell the truth I wasn't so enthusuastic right now. In my pockets my hands layed on the picture strip and the letter I wrote to you. I wonder what your reaction will be. Will you disown me? Will you grab me and hold me in your famous embrace? The drive wasn't long at all. Upon the gates stood our friends. Swallowing down my pride I stepped out without running, like I had dreamt about. I walked behind you, and kept my distance as you held her under your arm and lead us all inside. It appears that we were late, 'End of The Silence' already over, as they began to play 'Let Go'. The lights were magnificent and the band played their hearts out. I guess we missed Flyleaf since our lord was outing in the couner about not getting to see his 'one true love'. Smirking I could see Kyoya glareing at the silly king and turning the other cheek. First it was her, than it was him, and now Flyleaf? Whatever, I think he was only putting on an act because he wanted to draw attention to himself. I guess it wasn't working much as he started his own 'friend mushroom' stand to draw attention. And the attention he got was not the attention he wanted because now he was kept company by hippies.

The night was a blast, for you brother. You were out there, dancing with her and smiling your face off. You held your cross in your hand to show her the new necklace that dangled around your neck. Mine was still on, and I held it between my index and thumb. They were on 'Already Over' and were halfway done the concert. I held the letter in my hand and waited for the song to end when I walked up to you and took you to the side, away from her, away from everyone. 'Pieces' started playing and I found it hard to keep back tears, but I had to. I handed you the letter,

"I'll be out in the feild, you can go back to Haruhi if you want.."

I whispered softy in you ear as I walked off. How could I be so selfish? That letter.. It'll explain everything.

"Kaoru.."

I could hear you say my name in a hush as you walked towards me. Here it comes, rejection, prepare yourself Kaoru. Your rosey lips caught mine as a faint blush struck my cheeks. I didn't expect this, but I didn't ignore it either. You caught me in the firey hold of the moment, my arms locking around your neck as you broke the kiss from me, golden eyes stareing into mine.

"I think I'm sick too."

--------

**Special shout out to: **

**Victoria Alexis**

**For being the first to reveiw Chapter ****5! Arigato! **

**If you haven't noticed, I've been keeping a promise I made when I first started this. As long as I get ****ONE**** reveiw or ****ONE**** add alert I'll start on the next chapter. YOUR REVEIW COUNTS. The more reveiws the better the next chapter **

**YES my readers! Hikaru liked Kaoru all along! And now your wondering: "Where's the smut?" WELL here's where my mature storie gives you a warning. Next chapter, there shall be smut. Good ol' fashioned gay twincest smut. For those who think the story should end here, this is your warning to stop reading :) for those like me: WATCH FOR NEXT CHAPTER**

**Sorry it was so short. **


	7. Concert Loving

**Title  
**Tear Stains On Your Picture**  
Contents**  
Ouran High School Host Club  
**Pairings**  
Hikaru/Kaoru  
**POV**  
Kaoru  
**Beta**  
None**  
Summary  
**Kaoru couldn't see it coming when it happened. And now he's held in a delima.  
**Disclaimer**  
I do not own Ouran High School Host Club or any of the characters mentioned. Trust me if I did, they wouldn't be hosting. They'd be doing naughty things in a closet.   
**Warning  
**Twincest implied. Third wheel. You have been warned  
**Enjoy**  
-- 

"Kaoru.."

I could hear you say my name in a hush as you walked towards me. Here it comes, rejection, prepare yourself Kaoru. Your rosey lips caught mine as a faint blush struck my cheeks. I didn't expect this, but I didn't ignore it either. You caught me in the firey hold of the moment, my arms locking around your neck as you broke the kiss from me, golden eyes stareing into mine.

"I think I'm sick too."

"Hikaru... What about-"

"Shh.. We'll deal with Haruhi in the morning.. But while the sun's still down and it's too dark to see very far, we should take advantage of the time we have."

When you bit down on my neck, I couldn't control myself anymore. I grabbed your collar and pulled you closer, letting you take me. It was so fast that clothes were flying this way and that. For the sake of public nudity, I kept my shirt on as you kept your pants on, unzipping your fly and pulling out through your boxer shorts. I know you did this for me, I know you're doing this all for me.. But I don't think I want to do this out in the open. But you make it so easy to give in right now.. Besides, if anyone comes by, I'll have the fun of blameing you for everything. YOU put the moves on me, YOU made me yours, YOU were the one who couldn't wait for us to go home. Me? Oh I was the innocent one who gave you a note defineing my affections for you and went to isolate myself. This is why I love you. No matter how bad I screw up, or make the wrong move, or say the wrong thing, you'll forgive me and make things better.

"Kaoru I can't do anything if you don't spread your legs."

A blush spread across my face as I complied with your wishing. You could only smile and chuckle at me, slipping whispers of how cute I was or how you always dreamed of this moment. The moment you lost your virginity-wait WHAT?

"What?!"

"You didn't know? Jeez Kaoru, and how long have you been by my side?"

"But I heard you and... And when you came to my room, you said-"

"That I beat you? Heh, you're cute when you're oblivious... I was talking about getting a girlfriend.. And that was only to try to get over the fact I couldn't have you."

"But Hikaru I-"

"Well it's obvious now Kaoru.. Now do you want me to start or prepare you?"

"... Oh jesus christ fuck me already!"

Yes I had to be blunt. Or else I'd be damned to listen to your preaching mouth tell me a thousand stories.

"Kaoru! Language!"

"Oh shutup Hikaru.. She's not around and you're about to go against everything christains stand for."

"Well I can't argue there."

After much stalling I screamed your name into the night, wishing I had told you to prepare me before hand. I closed my eyes, tears slipping down. But you kissed them away, and stopped yourself before moving any further. It must have been hard to stop yourself, but I do appriciate it. Pushing it I gave you a small signal that I could handel more, and the more I got the more I wanted. It became hard to focus off the pain at my lower, but as soon as I felt you stroke me, it became easier to focus on the pulse lined deep in my member. I recall you moaning ever so softly as you started a small rythem, repositioning every other thrust. I wondered what you were trying to do before you found it. That spot, I never wanted you to stop. I couldn't stop thinking about how wrong this was. It was just so... Well weren't you sick knowing you were sucking your younger brother? My stomach growled, and a blush struck my face.

"Hungry?"

I don't think I was, but I nodded either way.

"I'll feed you in just a second.."

Lips met for a second time, glossed and hot. Whimpers for more escaped my throat as I felt the built up start. It was hard to hold out, but I had to. In a moan I felt you arrive first, the way I wanted it. I came as you pulled out. You left kisses down my front, and began to lick up the mess on my stomach I had left. I'm suprised nothing got on my shirt.

"H-Hikaru... Before they see-"

You shut me up with a kiss, letting what could have been my future childeren into my mouth. I wondered what the hell you were doing, but then I remebered-you thought I was hungry. I still welcomed the kiss that came with it. And that's how we stayed for the next few songs. You stood up and put your shirt on, zipping your fly. I strained just to sit up. You did a number on me, I'll tell you that. Standing was shakey, and I nearly fell. Thank god for your reflexs.

"The concert's almost over. This is the last song.. Why don't you go wait in the car while I go take care of business?"

"Hai."

I nodded and started off for the car. Looking out the window I saw you walk over to her. Yea that's right bitch, he's MINE, we just had SEX, stick that in a pillar and worship it! I turned on the radio, T-pain came on our CD playlist. I guess I could listen to this for a change instead of Red. I changed the words a bit as I sang and watched Hikaru explain to you who he really cares for.

"Cause I'm in love with my brother-he tellin, she yellin, she cryin. He's sayin it's me, and I'm in love with my brother! She trippin says playin he's playin, And now she's gettin a hug.. I thought you were tellin her that your, in love, with your..."

Wait.. I thought he was gunna tell her about us? Hikaru... What are you doing? You can't play with me.. You, you just CAN'T. Not after that! I just gave myself to you! I love you Hikaru! You told me you loved me to! Why?! And here you come.. Opening the door and gettin in the car..

"Well good news is we're still going to be friends."

That smile.. I hate your smile...

"But the two of us? We, I've got something for you when we get home."

Yea... I'm sure you do... I hate how I love you. Taking out the picture strip I looked down at the one picture with the tear stains on it.. And you.. You made the picture a reality with a kiss on my cheek. Tears dropped from my eyes, how could you ever be with me when you've got her? How could I be so blind... To not see I was just a quick fuck.. I can't believe...

"Something wrong Kaoru?"

I'm done with lieing. I'm done with hurting you. I'm done with dilemas.

--------

**Special shout out to: **

**Living in a fantasy **

**For being the first to reveiw Chapter ****6! Arigato! **

**Also I'd like to thank Living, Bokura, Eliee, Alexis, and others for being so supprtive for the making of this fiction. Truely, i LOVE you guys. Also a shout out to kogakiss because koga said they loved me ****XD**** i heart you too Koga!!! Honestly though, you guys are the reason I kept writting. If I didn't get you guy's reveiws I proably would have given up and bit my tongue on this one. So here's to you, my loyal reveiwers AND friends! Yes! You are more than reveiwers! You are my friends! That is if you want a friend like me ****XD**

**ALSO!!! I wanna make an alternate POV to this story. You know, write the same story over again through Hikaru's eyes? What cha think? owo**


	8. update

**update**

the link to Hikarus pov. no there will be no more chapters to Tear Stains. Sorry luv

EDIT

the story for hikaru's pov is "Hiding The Feeling" if you cant see the link above


End file.
